Thursday, September 11, 2008

I met someone who "gets it"

I have finally met someone who seems to actually fully grasp my food allergies. It amazes me how well thought-out he is about what we eat and where we eat. He looks at ingredients before he buys food he is planning on making me. He makes reservations and calls ahead when we go out to dinner. It is amazing to finally find someone who doesn't need constant reminders and who doesn't need everything written down.

For the past four years I dated someone, who although I know tried, and certainly did care, did not truly understand my allergies. He knew the routine. He knew what he could and couldn't eat, and he would be careful when he cooked for me, but it took the full four years for it to really all sink in. It was frustrating, and his family was even worse at understanding. Some people don't know why it is so difficult for some people to comprehend the severity of food allergies, but too many people don't. I have dated both- the "comprehenders" and the "naive pretenders." The "comprehenders" get it. They don't usually need reminding, they just know what needs to be done and they do it. The "naive pretenders" are the ones who say they understand, but in actuality often forget and don't know what the term "life-threatening" means.

When I find a "comprehender" it is amazing, because it is such a rarity. This guy I have been dating is a comprehender, which makes everything we do revolving around food, that much easier!

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Almost turned down from breakfast

Yesterday morning I went out to breakfast. The "Breakfast Place" was just that, a small diner style breakfast restaurant. My friend and I walked in, sat down, and browsed the menu. The pancakes were the only dish advertised on the menu that contained nuts. One of my favorite breakfast foods is an omelet, which seemed like a safe option. I chose one with veggies that sounded good, then was ready to order. When the middle-aged, unhappy looking waitress came to take my order I said, "I would like to order the Western omelet with no broccoli and American cheese. Do you know what oil they use with the omelets or if they just use butter? I am allergic to all nuts and nut oils." The waitress said she was pretty sure it was just butter, but that she would go check in the kitchen. I gave her my Chef card so there was no confusion. A few minutes later the cook came out to our table. "Who is the allergic one?" he asked as he looked at me. "We don't use any nuts or nut oils but I can't guarantee that there isn't any cross- contamination from one of the utensils in the kitchen. We do use walnuts in the pancakes. I've never seen a card like this, and it seems very severe, so I don't think that you should eat here. I do want to be responsible for something happening." I felt frustration forming but I took a deep breath and said, "As long as you use clean utensils and are as careful as possible, it should be fine." The cook confirmed that he was not responsible, but would be careful. I realized then after he went back to the kitchen that my friend was nervous about eating there. I wasn't worried though and told him not to worry. It turned out fine. The omelet was good, and I had no allergic reaction.

The moral of this experience is really to stick to your own comfort zone. If I was really concerned about cross-contamination I would have left, but I wasn't, which is why we stayed. Breakfast food is more often than not, a pretty safe choice as long as no bakery items are involved. I felt confident about my choice to stay and eat there, and was glad that they were at least being honest, even though they were concerned about liability. The worst part of this experience for me was having my friend be nervous. It is especially difficult when I make new friends who are not used to my food allergies. The best way to handle it though in my experience, is to be smart about my decision and confident with whatever I decide. It is also important to be aware and slightly cautious when trying foods at different restaurants for the first time. If I ever have a gut feeling I shouldn't eat something, I won't. Having the confidence in my decision making process to make those decisions is what I find to be most important.