All By Myself

There is a time when every parent has to let go, and allow their child to go out on their own. A few days ago I went out on my own without any friend or roommate. I was craving some gelato on a beautiful, warm and sunny day, with no friends around.

I walked down to my neighborhood gelateria. I gave the woman my allergy card and then explained in Italian and hand motions to wash the scoop. I wasn't sure about the word for 'under' in Italian, to explain to scoop from underneath to make sure there is no cross-contamination. When I went for a run that morning, I remembered noticing a sign for an underpass, and hoped I had understood the sign correctly. "Sotto" I said, hoping it meant under. I was correct!

I successfully bought my second gelato all by myself! :)

My First Gelato!!!!

Last night we decided to have a girls night in. My friends wanted to get gelato down the street before watching a movie, so we walked down to our neighborhood gelatoria. It was the first warm night since the fall. As we walked in, I observed the gelato behind the glass cases. I noticed that all the chocolate and nut flavors were on one side of the case, and all the fruit flavors were separated on the opposite side.

Since moving to Italy, every day I seem to have some new experience where I learn something and continue to get more comfortable living here. Earlier that day, I had used my broken Italian to communicate with people at one of the rowing clubs, about possibly joining the club (I was a rower all through college on a Division 1 team, and nothing beats being out on the water), and had conquered more fears by reading signs to take unknown buses home. After all of that I was happily aware of the fact that I was comfortable here finally. I finally didn't feel like a tourist. I felt like someone who actually lived here!

With already having conquered so many things in one day, I figured why not try one more! I had told myself that I would try the fruit flavored gelato, when I was finally comfortable here, so last night was the night!

I showed the woman behind the counter my Chef card, and with help from my friends, we explained that she needed to clean the gelato scoop, then scoop my lemon flavored gelato from the bottom of the container. She somehow understood us, and was very nice about it!!!

The best part to me was not only finally trying gelato for the first time ever, but also how happy my friends were for me (especially Abby, my roommate), that I finally was able to try gelato! There have been endless times where I have watched them all eat it, but now I was finally having some too!!!! Wooohooo!

Big Smile! :)

"Piacere" and the handshake

The word 'piacere' in Italian means "nice to meet you." Both here in Italy, as well as at home in the U.S., handshakes are a common way to either greet or say goodbye to someone. Here in Italy they also use kisses on each cheek as a greeting (as well as in many other parts of Europe).

For allergic reactors, greeting people can sometimes to be challenging. There have been numerous times where I have nervously given out my hand to shake, while hoping to not break out into hives. It is hard to awkwardly explain my allergies to someone I am just meeting or don't know well. I don't want to hesitate and not be polite and shake their hand. I also don't want to get hives from peanuts I just saw them eat. It is a fine line between being polite and keeping myself safe!

If I have just seen someone eating something that I am allergic to, I usually just tell them. I am not going to shake their hand whether it was nice to meet them or not! I don't want to take that kind of risk. Most of the time, there really is no way of knowing. I carry wipes with me at all times, but that is really all that I can do!

International Travel

Travel is a passion of mine and a significant part of my life! It is when I feel most relaxed and at peace. The world has so many spectacular places and amazing sites. I don't want to miss any of them! Of course having anaphylactic food allergies does make this difficult!

I have been lucky enough to have many travel experiences. I have been all over the world! I have ridden camels in the dessert, sailed on boats in the Whitsundays, and rolled down giant sand dunes! I have driven in a huge jeep through the largest sand island in the world, smelled the scent of fresh rosemary while overlooking one of the most spiritual cities, and held a baby kangaroo that had just been rescued. These are just a few of the many incredible adventures that I have been fortunate enough to experience (even with my allergies)!

I never let my food allergies get in the way of where I want to go and what I want to do. I also though, will not go on adventures that make me too nervous so that I can't relax. I don't like feeling on guard all the time, and after putting myself through a few of those experiences, I have realized that since they are too nerve-wrecking, they are not enjoyable, and therefore, not worth it! It took experiences though to realize my comfort level.

Back last spring, there was a lot of controversy about airlines serving nuts on flights (particularly Northwest Airlines). There were irresponsible bloggers sharing their opinions with no knowledge of their writing subject or even any background. There were many angry people who could not understand why "all of a sudden" there were all these children with peanut allergies. Like many things, people who were uninformed and unaffected, were shouting out at all of these allergic reactors for having allergies and ruining their ability to eat peanuts on the airplane.

This truly emphasized to me how important education is, because there are so many people who are completely ignorant to the idea that people can actually be unable to eat certain foods. I have spoken with people who don't understand and don't believe me about my allergies, while I have also spoken to people who have been so understanding and completely amazing with my allergies. You just never know!

There are some airlines that I have had better experience with than others. My international flights I have always had a lot of trouble with. The first time that I flew to Australia, Qantas wanted me to fill out a form saying that they were not responsible when it came to my allergies. Since then, when I have flown to Australia, or even in Australia between cities, I have had pilots tell me not to bother flying. They have told me to "find another way." As if it is so easy to get from one big city to the next in Australia. The United States is the same size as Australia, except that Australia is mostly empty desert, speckled with six main cities spread out through the entire country! I refused to not fly. We already paid for our tickets, and we were going! I remember how frustrated I felt though, and how angry I was that these people could not even try to understand.

Since then I have had many other flights with similar experiences. Last fall I was on my way to Istanbul, Turkey. I was flying Luftansa and requested a nut free flight. At first the man I spoke with gave me a difficult time, and then went to go ask the captain. The captain said that they would still serve nuts (macadamia specifically). When I was told they wouldn't fly nut free, the captain asked me how severe my allergy was, then started to suggest I find another way to travel (riiight, like it is easy to get to Istanbul by other modes of transportation)! I hate when they do that, because then I have to turn the conversation around, so they will still let me fly and not feel like I am a huge liability for them! I remember sitting on the plane I felt a bit uncomfortable when everyone around me was eating dinner.

Airlines are so worried about liability. They don't actually care if you are okay or if they can help. They just don't want to get sued, like many restaurants, so instead of trying to accommodate, they refuse to serve. In an article from the Seattle Times, a spokesperson from Continental Airlines said, "We do not set up a peanut-free zone because it would mislead the customers into thinking the cabin is free of allergens, which the airline cannot guarantee." Although some airlines do have a peanut-free zone I have heard, I have never experienced it on a flight myself. Many airlines are so worried legally, that they are not nice, helpful, or caring in anyway.

Anyway, I DO understand the flying frustration (As I write this I can feel my own frustration as I am pressing the keys harder and faster)! I go with my gut feeling usually though, and have never turned down a flight. Often I won't eat even my own food on flights. I will wait until I get off the plane to eat. I feel more comfortable that way. It is difficult to feel comfortable eating when you know how far away you are from any kind of help! I ALWAYS carry hand wipes with me everywhere too, so I can wipe down my seat and wipe off my hands if I need to touch my face.

In an article I read on March 14, 2009, from Medical News Today, it said, "Families with food allergic individuals make significant lifestyle alterations when it comes to vacation planning." I agree that there are certainly alterations that must be made for us allergic reactors to feel comfortable while traveling.

There were a few surveys in this article. One survey said that 36 percent of the people that were surveyed said that they limited the type of transportation that they take for vacations, with 80 percent avoiding ships and 65 percent avoiding planes. That sounds like some very limiting travel! It is difficult to get anywhere far away for a vacation without either a ship or a plane!

The article also surveyed what people did to typically prepare for travel. There were 67 percent who got extra epinephrine, 94 percent who packed allergy-free food, 53 percent who requested special airplane accommodations and 48 percent who researched where the closest hospital was located. I usually do each of these preparations before traveling!

They also mentioned the least likely locations that people with allergies were likely to visit, which I definitely agreed with. They said Japan, India, China, Africa and beach resorts in foreign countries were were people were least likely to visit. I have yet to visit any of those countries, although I have gone to beach resorts in foreign countries before. Asia is a difficult place to travel with fish and nut allergies. I am not sure what I would eat there! My dad who is also allergic to nuts, has gone to Asia on business before and had trouble, but could eat some fish and plain white rice. I can't imagine how difficult it would be though! At some point though, I will probably try to venture there (probably with a suitcase of dehydrated food to eat!). There are many amazing places to see there, and such a different culture. I am sure I will figure it out, but for now it is not top on my list, knowing it is less allergy friendly for me. I still have plenty of places that I want to travel to that are a lot easier with my allergies.

There was a survey in this article that I found somewhat obvious, but interesting nonetheless. The survey showed that 68 percent limit the type of destination. It also said that 90 percent only vacation in the United States. There was only 0.3 percent that traveled to remote locations. This reminded me of my own remote location travels.

Although remote locations can be scary for allergy reasons, they can also be an exciting adventure that I don't want to miss! It puts me in a game of tug-o-war with myself. The adventurous, free-spirited traveler in me says, "GO! It's an adventure of a lifetime!" While the other rational side of me says, "It's not safe. You will be uncomfortable the entire time. It is not worth the risk." It is a hard game to win. I don't want to miss out on an interesting and exciting adventure, but I also want to feel safe and worry-free. Both sides have won at times...

One example of the adventurous traveler winning over, was when I lived in Australia and went traveling for my spring break from school. My friend Rachel and I went sailing in the Whitsundays for four days, and then to Fraser Island. Both parts of the trip were amazing, but both parts made me uncomfortable. Both trips were in remote locations, where getting help quickly would have been difficult. I brought my own food, and was extremely careful with everything, but it still was not the most relaxing trip! I was glad though that I had these expereinces for a few reasons. One reason is because I became very aware of where my comfort zone lies. Another reason is because I did have incredible experiences at these places that many people never get a chance to have.

There are ways that I have found to make most travel experiences comfortable for me. One way is to make chef cards in the language of the country I will be in. Another way is to pack dehydrated food if I know that there may be times where I won't find something to eat. The good thing about dehydrated food is that all you need is boiling water to heat it up, and then you have a meal. I will not rave about the delicious taste of these meals (because that is not usually true), but when I am hungry and there is nothing else, dehydrated meals don't sound so bad! I used them all the time when I was traveling one summer through Prague, Cyprus and Israel. I don't now what I would have done without them that summer!

There are so many travel experiences to talk about. To me, finding a way to make it happen with my allergies is a priority! The world is an amazing place! I don't want to miss it because of food allergies! That's not a good enough reason!

To Hike or Not to Hike?

Most recently, hiking is what has made me most nervous as far as travel goes. In the past year I have gone hiking twice. Although I love the idea of hiking, in actuality it really scares me! Not only do I have the general fears that anyone might have: "What if I fall and brake my leg? What if I accidentally fall over or slide down the cliff when I climb up the rocks at the end? What if..." My main fear though is: "What if I get an allergic reaction on top of the mountain, with no cell phone reception and no way of getting down except by climbing?"

The thought of being so far and inaccessible can be both exhilarating and frightening for people. For allergic reactors though, this can be very scary! I remember when I was growing up, my parents were always the ones making the decision of where I could go, by their comfort level. Now that I am an adult, it means that I have to decide my own comfort level. I don't have my parents telling me what I should and shouldn't do based on my allergies. Instead I have to make the decision of whether I feel comfortable or not. Sometimes this can be difficult, but I definitely feel like my parents prepared me well, and gave me the tools to assess and make good decisions.

My biggest problem on both hikes was not an allergy issue, but a boot issue. I couldn't find my hiking boots anywhere! I had no idea where they were, and after hiking in my running shoes on the first hike, I knew I wanted my hiking boots for the next one! Of course they were still missing though, and here I went again, hiking in my sneakers! I was slipping and sliding everywhere! This made it much less enjoyable.

I made sure both times to pack: hand wipes, water, lunch, snacks, and a sweatshirt for the top of the mountain.

At the top of the mountain.

Cleaning off my hands before eating, and sharing some wipes with my
friends after their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Having a snack.

The problem with hiking with a big group of friends, is that there are bound to be at least half, if not all of them bringing peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to eat. Never mind the granola mixes, etc. that all contain nuts. Everyone is very aware of my allergies, so I had no problems, but of course I wasn't completely at ease. I felt much better once I knew we were done eating and on the way back down!


This is what makes the entire hike worthwhile...

Around the World in Grocery Stores

I was in the grocery store picking up an ingredient for dinner, when I started thinking about all the different grocery stores I had been to. Throughout my travels, grocery stores have always been a place where I have scavenged shelves looking for food with English ingredients. They have been places where I have learned about the city or country I was visiting, just by perusing the scene and food-stocked shelves. The mice I saw scurrying around the grocery store in Paris, or the non-refrigerated eggs sitting on a shelf on one of the regular food aisles in Australia, display aspects that a regular traveler may not ever see.  A grocery store is not a typical tourist excursion, but for those like me, who need to find allergy-friendly foods, they are a must-see destination.

Coles was my grocery store of choice when I lived in Australia. I would buy all of my food there. Everything food related in Australia, encompassed only a few different areas for me. I could eat fresh foods, like fruits, veggies, deli meat, other meats, some cheeses, yogurt, and eggs. The only other foods I could eat were Carr's crackers (which are imported from the U.K.) and some pastas. The only chocolate I could eat there were Twix bars (although I can't eat them in the U.S., but I could eat them in Oz because they were manufactured somewhere else). It was a pretty limiting (and expensive) diet! I went to the grocery store every other day to buy fresh foods. Everything spoiled there quickly! 

When I move to Italy at the end of August, I am curious to know what kind of grocery shopping experience I will have.  Will I find any packages with English ingredients?  How many hours will I spend trying to translate words and decipher any warnings on food packages?  There are so many questions about how it will be to move to a country where I barely speak the language, and don't know anyone, but I am not worried.  I have traveled to many countries where I don't speak the language.  I have lived abroad before, and figured it out.  Finding food is always a challenge, but I am sure that the many hours I will spend in my new Italian grocery store, will only help me to understand the new place I will be calling home. 

Trust Yourself (For the Allergic Reactors)!

(This blog is for the allergic reactors especially)! 

There have been numerous times I have saved myself from having an allergic reaction. I get a feeling in my gut, a big red flashing NO sign in my mind, and I know not to eat. This gut feeling is momentous! It is a clear sign to you that if you feel uncomfortable eating something, you should not be eating it. It does not matter how good it looks, or how comfortable your family or friends or the people at the restaurant are that it is okay. If you aren’t comfortable eating it, don’t. No one is forcing you. That is why you need to be comfortable with yourself enough to say no to it.

There have been a few situations that stick out in my mind, where I needed to be able to trust myself.

When I was ten, I went on vacation to Cape Cod with one of my best friend's, Ariel, and her family.  We went out to dinner one of the nights we were there.  I ordered a burger, because it seemed to be the safest food on the menu.  The waiter said that he would make sure it wasn't cooked near any fish.  I asked him also to check the ingredients in the rolls.  When our food came out, I asked if the roll was okay.  He said there were no ingredients on the package, but he was "sure" that it was fine.  I wasn't "sure" that it was fine though, and wouldn't eat my meal.  I felt bad that I was wasting food, but more importantly, I felt confident that I was making the right choice!

 

When I was a freshman in high school I went to Disney world during February vacation with my best friend Sara, and her family. We went to the Italian restaurant in the Italy section in Epcot. We ordered, and I told the server about my allergies. He had the manager come over, who explained that I should not eat any of the olive oil because it was infused with a nut oil. The manager was extremely helpful and we were able to figure out what I could safely eat.

In April that same year my family decided to stop at Disney on our way to another part of Florida. We went to the same Italian restaurant in Epcot. When I ordered I asked the waiter about the oil. He said it was fine and insisted there were no nuts in the oil. My parents agreed it was fine, even after explaining to both about my experience there in February. I decided I didn’t believe my parents or the waiter, and refused to eat. I said we needed to ask the manager, and insisted the manager come over. I just knew. I felt this knot of anxiety in my throat. It turned out I was right! The manager was glad I had brought it to his attention. After this experience I think my parents became even more aware of my strong sense of independence, responsibility, and confidence in myself. I took control of the situation. I made my own decision. I saved my own life. "Phew..." is more of what I thought! Close call number one thousand...! 

Peer Pressure

I met some friends out for dinner last week.  It was one of their birthdays.  I already had plans to eat with my parents, so I met them afterwards.  The girls had ordered sushi to share.  I am allergic to fish, and clearly couldn't eat the sushi.  I knew the girls from high school, but was only friends with them through a few classes and organizations we were both in at that time.  I ran into them and re-connected the week before at another friend's house.  None of them remembered I had food allergies, or maybe didn't even know about my allergies in the first place.  

When I got there, they tried to offer me some sushi.  I politely declined, and ordered something to drink.  I always have great excuses in my mind, in case I don't feel like I need to share my allergies with people I don't know very well.  They asked me a few more times, pressuring me to try some.  I said I was full from dinner (which was true), and they finally stopped asking.  In this situation, I could have explained my allergies, but I didn't need to, and decided to not make it a big deal.  Either way, I did experience peer pressure.  The peer pressure to try some food I couldn't eat.  

Peer pressure is something I remember happening a lot when I was growing up. Of course it didn't always involve food, but many times it did.  Even my close friend could occasionally have a momentary lapse of forgetfulness and offer me foods I couldn't eat.  It is the pressure though, and the need for acceptance that is the problem.  I luckily never succumbed to the peer pressure.  I never tried food out of courtesy or politeness.  If it came down to something like that, I would then explain my allergies.  I am not the type to make a big deal about something, if it isn't necessary. I think I am pretty good at knowing when it is and when it isn't important to share my allergies. Over the years I learned who needed to know, and who didn't. 

Broadcasting my allergies to everyone isn't necessary.  It is however necessary to inform the important people (teachers, coaches, nurses, parents, close friends, etc.).  Those are the people who will help if something happens, and who should know the precautions that I take.  

Summer Camp & Independence!

When I say I have traveled and I have done things that people thought someone like I couldn’t do, I mean it. Camp was my first real push into independence. My parents had the confidence in me that I could be responsible and take care of myself. It started off as just day camps, but became over night camps that lasted more than half the summer. I carried my epi-pen always. I was the one in charge of it from day one. Yes, my counselors were well aware of my allergies, but at that time, there was no one else with my allergies at camp or even anyone else I knew, so it was not a well-known occurrence to have such severe allergies.

I would go into the kitchen at the dining hall and ask to read the ingredients in all the food. The whole kitchen staff got to know me pretty well and the chef was great about showing and telling me everything to watch out for. They were even willing to make me my own food and keep my own yogurt in the fridge in case there wasn’t anything I could eat.

There were some activities at camp that I remember not participating in. Each year every bunk would go on an overnight or weekend camping trip, and I never participated in that. It always involved being in the woods in the middle of nowhere, so it was decided that I would stay at camp. This ended up turning into what I decided then, was in my favor. I stayed with the oldest girls bunk and did everything with them for the two or three days my bunk was gone. All the attention was on me because I was the little one with all the ‘big kids’ and because I had no older siblings, I loved the feeling of having some at camp! My bunk would come back dirty and complaining about their trip, and I would fill them in on what had happened while they were gone, and how cool the older kids were. Sure, I did miss the whole camping part of camp I guess, but it helped me to realize that there are ways to find other options that might be just as fun!

My decision: ITALY!

I came to a job decision!  I am moving to ITALY!  I will teach at an international school there, starting in the fall.  I'm very excited!  Now that I have made this decision, it is only the beginning of all of the details I will need to figure out with my food allergies, before I leave.  It is a country where I do not speak the language.  I will need to figure out how to get around language barriers, and find foods to eat. I have traveled to Italy before, but I will be living in an area I have never been to.  I think it will be a great experience for me to grow on many different levels.  It will certainly be a test of my independence, and will be an even greater test of my ability to find food and adjust to a country where the first language isn't English.  This should be an interesting challenge!  I will write more about my questions, concerns, and how the process is going soon!

The International Job Fair

I have never been to a job fair like this before!  There are around 80 schools represented from many different countries, and around 500 candidates looking for positions.  Usually this ends up being plenty of schools for the number of recruiters, but this year, that is not the case.  The economy is affected world wide, and it is definitely showing here.  There are not very many elementary positions.  I was lucky to get three interviews.  One interview was with a school in Cairo, one was with a school in Italy, and one was with a school in Colombia. I had interest in other schools too, and left recruiters notes in a mailbox with my resume. The recruiters can then leave me a letter of interest and information about their schools in my mailbox.  The interviews went really well, and I was offered a job right away by two of the schools.  Now I have to make a decision...

*I just want to also add what I did for food this weekend.  I stayed with two of my friends at their apartments.  I packed a cooler with food in it, and planned my meals ahead of time.  I didn't want to stress my friends out unfairly, by feeling like they had to feed me.  I was also at the fair for the majority of the day, each of the three days.  I left the cooler in the car (it was freezing outside, so everything stayed cold).  When I had time, I could always run out to my car in the parking garage and grab whatever I wanted.  One of the afternoons, I had leftover beef stew.  I asked the restaurant at the hotel where the fair was, if they would heat it up for me. They were really nice about it, and put it in a bowl for me at one of the tables.  I really appreciated it!  This weekend just showed how important it is to plan food out ahead of time.  I had plenty of food and was never hungry, because I figured out a way to eat my own food, and not have to worry about finding food I wasn't allergic to.  

Jobs & Reality Television

I was contemplating my lack of job situation over a hot chocolate at Starbucks today. It reminded me of how I could never work at Starbucks because of my allergies. There are nut coffees, nut drinks, nut desserts, and all of which I would likely be responsible to either make or touch if I were an employee. That is one difficulty with food allergies. It does cut down on some of the potential jobs I could get.

I have worked in restaurants as both a hostess and a server.  By doing this, I knew I was taking a risk.  I've worked at a breakfast diner, three Italian restaurants, and a burger type restaurant. The only place I served food was at two of the Italian restaurants.  I felt fairly comfortable working at these places because there were few or no nuts, and the only food I had to be careful of was fish.  I managed to do a fairly good job of not touching the foods I am allergic to. There were a few times I broke out in hives on my hands and neck, but nothing that greatly concerned me.  Having food allergies certainly doesn't make working in restaurants easy though.  I never made it well-known that I had food allergies while working at these establishments, because I didn't think managers would hire me, or want to have me continue working there. 

 

Although I have no intentions of becoming the next Top Chef on Bravo, that certainly would not have been a possibility either. However, participating in the Amazing Race may actually have been my calling. Unfortunately, due to the random clues involving food in places all around the world, I am afraid that may blow my possibility of a reality television career. I always thought I might be a good contestant for Real World because of my allergies. They haven’t had anyone on there with anaphylaxis. It can make life interesting to the outside observer I suppose. I'm sure they would create drama in some way. A roommate would probably complain about having separate dishes or having my own foods in the refrigerator. I can picture it now...

I would wake up one morning to find my entire stash of food mostly gone, and clearly picked through from my roommates who spent their night drinking, then came home, and ravaged through my food.

This scenario has actually happened to me before.  I was living on an island two summer's ago in the staff housing for my work with six other people.  We had one refrigerator to fit all of our food in.  I kept my food in a small blue cooler, in hopes that it would be left alone.  The non-refrigerator food I kept in my room.  Since there were so many of us all living together, I didn't trust the dishes or really anything to be safe or clean for my allergies.  I rewashed everything before I used it.  It was difficult to cook there, and I found myself eating sandwiches for both lunch and dinner.

One morning I woke up.  I remember being woken up quite a few times throughout the previous night from the noise that carried so well throughout the entire house.  I went for my usual run before work, then came back and was hungry.  I went into the fridge.  My cooler had clearly been raided through the night before.  The food was all touched and had to be thrown away.  The people I was living with, although they knew about my allergies, certainly did not "get it," or even care enough to try.    I ended up taking the small locks off my backpacking and having to lock up my food in the cooler.  I felt kind of ridiculous doing so, but food is expensive, and I didn't want to waste money replacing it everyday because of my roommates.  I also didn't want to worry that my food may not be safe for me to eat.  After that summer, I knew staff housing was certainly not the place for me.  

My first entry!

Welcome to my blog! I've been thinking about trying this for a long time. After some experiences lately, I decided this is a good outlet to share my allergy adventures and what I've learned so far. My anaphylactic allergies include peanuts, tree nuts, fish and potatoes, and less severe allergies to banana, kiwi, legumes, some raw fruits and vegetables. What I find most important with having anaphylactic allergies is trusting yourself, and finding ways to keep yourself safe. No matter what, not everyone is going to understand, and although I do hope that more people will begin to understand the severity of food allergies, I am not naive to the fact that most don't. I ALWAYS carry my epi-pen...ALWAYS! That is what will saves lives, and that is by far what I have found to be the most important way of keeping myself safe. I also wear a Medic Alert bracelet. These two items are the most important possessions I own, because they are what could save my life in the case of a reaction.

Yesterday, I went out for lunch with my family. We went to a cute little sandwich/ice cream shop that we had never tried before. I ordered my sandwich without a problem. I explained my allergies, the importance of using clean knives and surfaces to make it, and there was no problem. After sitting and enjoying a nice lunch outdoors in the sunshine, everyone was ready for an ice cream. I went in to order, and asked the man waiting on us if he had the ingredients in the ice cream. He said, "No, but I know the chocolate is Andes. There are no nuts, even though it looks like it." My first red flag in this conversation was that the man waiting on us did not know the exact ingredients. The next flag was that he said that it had "Andes chocolate which doesn't have nuts," but it does. Even with the first red flag, I would not have had the ice cream, but especially when someone clearly does not understand, or know what they are talking about, that is all the more reason not to eat it.

After everyone else in my family had ice cream and was sitting enjoying it outside, I could feel my frustration. I am always able to hide it by my nonchalant, "Oh it's fine. I don't care. I can always get ______ later" speech that I easily can spew out from years of practice. Of course, with ice cream being one of my favorite foods, that is not exactly how I feel, but there is nothing else that can be done, and I never want anyone else feeling bad for my inability to eat. For children on the other hand, who can not verbally express their feelings, their frustration can often come out in a tantrum.

Over time, I have learned how to read my gut feelings, and know when to trust what I am eating, and when not to. I have lived in other countries, traveled to many more, and never have once let my allergies control where or what I want to do. I have learned to empower myself. I have talked to many parents who are afraid of letting their food allergic child go anywhere or do anything without them. I give my parents great credit for the amount of independence and self-reliance they bestowed upon me at a very young age. For any parent, it is difficult to let your child go, but when you know they have something that could easily hurt them, it is even more difficult. The key to my own independence at such a young age, was the way in which my parents taught me and showed me how to be responsible for myself. No one wants to grow up living in a bubble, so it's all about figuring out how to make the world outside, feel safe without the bubble wrap.