Allergy Disappointments

Just like many things in life, sometimes my allergies can be frustrating and disappointing, too. Most days I don't think twice about them, but when it comes to finding a job, they can often get in the way!

I thought I found a summer job.  I had spoken on the phone with a mother who needed someone to babysit for her three-year-old daughter during the week.  The mother sounded fabulous on the phone, and I was really looking forward to meeting her.  They lived in an ideal location for me, and it sounded like it would be a great job.  Since there was nothing in the advertisement about pets, I didn't think about asking if they had a dog.  When I went over to meet them, I walked in and immediately felt my chest tighten.  A few minutes later the mother mentioned the dog, and I knew it wasn't going to work out.  They had a big, fluffy, furry, long-haired, easily shed-able dog! I was so disappointed, they were so disappointed, and this was a time when I felt extremely frustrated with having allergies!

This experience taught me to always ask if a family has pets!  I usually think about how my food allergies will affect nannying or babysitting for a family, but sometimes I forget that my environmental and pet allergies play a role too!  After this, I won't be forgetting to ask next time!

Roasted Nuts on Street Corners

Something I have noticed throughout my city travels, are the roasted nut carts that seem to pop up on so many street corners.  Recently, I was in my home city, walking down one of the main streets full of shops and people.  There on the corner was a roasted nut cart.  When I saw it, I crossed the street.  I don't like walking by them.  The fumes are in the air, and it makes me uncomfortable.  I have never had a reaction from air inhalation, but I don't like to breath any of it in.  If I see it ahead of time, I avoid it.  Sometimes they are there though, and are almost impossible to avoid (especially when they are on both sides of the street)!  This is one reason why I think it is so important not to shelter your children.  There is no way to prevent those carts from being on the street, or to stop people from eating foods with allergens.  By constantly trying to put children in environments that are "allergen free," they are being exposed to the idea that this is real life.  

Educating your children on how to take care of themselves is a fantastic solution, instead of trying to make each environment free from allergens.  More than likely these "allergen free" environments are not truly allergen free.  It gives children a false belief that the real world can be allergen free.  Keeping this in mind, I think is very important.  There are certainly precautions to take, but only exposing children to environments that claim to be "allergen free," is unrealistic in real life.  Teaching your child how to be responsible and take care of themselves, starting from an early age, is the best tool you can give them. That is how my parents raised me to be so responsible and to take care of myself.  I'm so lucky that they did such a fabulous job, at a time when so few people even knew allergies existed!  I definitely understand that at certain young ages, children are extremely reliant on adults to help them, and to keep them safe, but it is also important that as an adult, you are teaching your child along the way.  Children are not going to always have their parents by their side, so when they are a little older, and go off to school, or go play at a friend's house, it is important they know what to do.  This will only help you as a parent as well, because then you can have some confidence that both your child, and the adult supervising your child, know what to do to stay safe.

The whole concept of "peanut free" or "allergen free" is knew within the past five years or so. Not until then, did this concept ever exist.  Of course now there is more of a prevalence of children with food allergies, but I still think that this concept is being used blindly by people thinking it is helpful, when really it is giving the wrong message.  Educating both teachers and children at school, is certainly important, but singling kids out to sit at their own "nut free" or "allergen free" table, is unrealistic and sends the wrong message.  No matter where you go, there is no where else that will be allergen free.  It is important to take some cautious steps, but to raise kids thinking they will have places where they don't have to worry about allergens in a public setting seems contrary to what we should be educating them.  The only time I can really understand taking more precautions is when children are at the preschool age.  They are too young to truly understand, and it makes sense to take more precautions. Once children are at the elementary age, they understand better (even if teachers need to remind them sometimes) to wash their hands and to be respectful of other people's space and food.  The PAL program that FAAN has established, I think is a good step too.  I was lucky to find friends who understood.  PAL is good for having classmates learn and understand how to take care of their friends.  

To read about this program go to: http://www.foodallergy.org/pal.html.  I think by educating, and using programs like this, there will be a lot more success for this new generation of children learning to live with food allergies.    

Education- The Main Goal

"Waaait, so you are telling me that we use an oil that you can't eat, but they use an oil that you can eat?  So you can't eat here, but you can eat there?  I don't really understand."  This is what I deal with.  People who just can not comprehend the fact that there are foods that people just can't eat.  It is not a choice, it is a fact.  If I eat the food used with a nut oil I will have an anaphylactic reaction.  I didn't make this up.  I didn't pretend so that I didn't have to eat something.  But some people just don't get it! 

To continue this story, the man who was speaking to me was a restaurant manager, at a well-known, highly recommended restaurant in the town where I went to college.  I went out to eat with my friend that night after moving back in for graduate school.  Over the years, I had been to this restaurant many times before while I was living there.  The only item on the menu I could eat was a grilled chicken sandwich with no fries on the side.  I told them my allergies, as well as giving them my chef card.  I prefaced it by saying that I had been there many times before without a problem, but I just wanted to make sure nothing had changed (another great topic- never assume the food is the same at a restaurant...it is always better to double check).  

The waitress came back a few minutes later and said, "I'm sorry.  I asked the chef and showed him your card, but we can't serve you.  We use a nut oil in some of our foods."  I asked her if they used in on the chicken.  "Well, they won't serve you.  I'm not sure, but you can't eat here."  I looked back at the menu, "Do you know if there is a plain salad I could get?  We already have our drinks and everything."  The waitress said she would go check.  She came back a minute later, "No, I'm sorry, but there is nothing you can eat here."  Of course she had already put my friend's order through, and we already had drinks.  My friend suggested that I go get a slice of pizza across the street and bring it back, considering they wouldn't serve me, and he was already getting food.  

I went across the street, and very discreetly walked back into the restaurant with my pizza, but I was stopped by the hostess.  "You can't bring that pizza in here," she said.  I started to explain to her that they couldn't serve me, and that my friend had food. Then I started to walk to the table, but she came back over to me as I was walking and said in a very confrontational tone, "YOU CAN'T BRING THAT IN HERE!"  I said back to her, "who is it bothering?  Is there a manager I can speak with?"  The girl said, "The manager is the one who told me to tell you to leave."  I looked at my friend.  I told him I would be sitting outside eating.  Then left to eat my pizza.  Five minutes later my friend came out with his food to go, and sat with me.  I felt really bad.  We had left our drinks, without even drinking them, to sit outside in the cool, windy evening air and eat in the dark.  Fabulous!   

After I finished my pizza, took a few breaths, and vented my frustration to my friend, I decided I should go speak to the manager in the restaurant.  I went back inside and asked for the manager.  The shifts must have changed, because a man was now the manager on duty, and came over to speak to me.  I explained the turn of events, and why I brought pizza in to eat.  That is when the manager said, "Waaait, so you are telling me we use an oil you can't eat, but they (the pizza place) use an oil that you can eat?  So you can't eat here, but you can eat there?  I don't really understand."  If there was a scale for my frustration level at this point, it would have been bordering between at least an eight, maybe a nine out of ten.  I decided to try to explain again, to educate this restaurant manager, who told me he had never heard of this before!   I couldn't believe it!  After another failed attempt at explaining food allergies, and him trying to pretend he was interested, I left.  

I do believe that education is what is most important.  It can be so difficult sometimes to get through to people.  Some people, no matter how many times you explain it, will still not truly understand.  We need to find ways to educate people who don't understand though.  That is the best way to help people with food allergies.  If you educate the people around you, around your children, and at school, then that is the best tool.  I feel so lucky that my parents realized this, sent me to school, let me explore, travel, go to camp, and try to live a normal life, even with my allergies.  It can be done!  I know, because I was one of those kids, and I had those parents who knew how to give me the tools to let me live like other kids.  Thank you mom and dad!