Another Day Trip, Another Experience

I spent the day in Austria on Sunday. As awesome as it is to say that I can spend the day there, it is also just as difficult to deal with another countries language and food differences. Of course, as always, I packed myself a mini-picnic of snacks. I did not anticipate eating anything there, since I didn't have a way to print out a copy of my German chef card (and the decision to go was made about an hour before leaving). I made sure my meds were in my bag, then headed out to meet my friends in the car to drive to Austria.

The drive only took us two hours out of our dirty, air-polluted city, and into some fresh Austrian air! There was a considerable difference when we opened our doors and breathed in fresh, breathable, healthy lung, smoke free air. It was amazing!

The air in my Italian city has been really bothering my environmental allergies and asthma lately. I am an avid runner, and when I go out for my run in the city, I can feel my lungs just trying to find fresh air to breathe. It is terrible!


Something that really stood out to me, was that I didn't see anyone smoking! Where I live, it is more difficult to find a person that isn't smoking, than that is!

Even as we walked by cafes, I didn't have to pass through any clouds of smoke!

When my friends were finally hungry, we found a restaurant for dinner. All I ordered was a drink, but I didn't mind because I had been snacking all day!

Even with a spontaneous day trip outside the country that I live, I can still figure out ways to make my allergies work, and not stop me from doing what I want!

Out to dinner!

Last night I went out to dinner at a restaurant called Rosso Pomodoro (Red Tomato) for one of my friend's birthdays. I had been to the restaurant once before when it was extremely busy. That night they were afraid of cross contamination, so they told me I could order this massive ball of mozzarella, tomatoes and basil. It was good (one of my favorite salads), but it was expensive, and not what I was in the mood for, especially when I heard the pizza was excellent there!

The restaurant is actually a chain in Italy, kind of like Olive Garden in the U.S., except classier, with real, fresh Italian food. I was hoping that when I went back this time, they would be able to figure out pizza or pasta for me. I found out though, when I tried to order pizza last night, that they use vegatale olio, which is not okay in Italy for people with nut allergies. The vegtable oil here, sometimes has nut oils in it, so you can never tell if it is okay or not, which is why I always have to avoid it.

I ended up getting a salad with chicken breast in it, which was good, but double the price of the pizza, and not what I wanted. This hasn't happened too often though, so now I know I just can't get pizza or pasta there! Lesson learned.

Travels to Edinburgh and beyond!

Last week was school vacation (here they call it 'holiday'), so I went traveling. I met my roommate, her sister, and her best friend in Edinburgh, Scotland for the beginning of the week. It felt so nice to travel to a country where I spoke the language fluently! Of course, that doesn't necessarily mean that dealing with my food allergies would be any easier!

When I arrived in Edinburgh, it was around dinner time. My roommate and friends arrived a few hours earlier, so I went to the apartment that we were staying in to leave my bag. Afterward, we met for dinner at a pub. I had my English chef card to use, which was nice, since I am used to trying to communicate in Italian. I was able to get a chicken breast sandwich, which was delicious!

The owner of the apartment that we were staying in, stocked the refrigerator with food. There was plenty for me to eat, which was amazing! There was fresh cheeses, fruits, yogurt, and cereal. It made everything that much easier, since I had no time to find a grocery store before our tour through Scotland the next morning. Of course I did pack some food, which always help, but having all those fresh foods that I was able to eat, was truly exceptional.

My friends and I had an exquisite day seeing the Scottish countryside. We went on a small tour bus, with only 15 people in total. It made it a nice and personal experience. We made quite a few stops along the way. Around lunch time, we stopped by Lochness to get lunch. Of course I had packed food, but my friends hadn't, so we went and sat in a pub for lunch. As we were sitting at the table, I noticed all the packets of condiments.

Condiments

Holding the condiments with some attitude!

I have never found condiments that "contained" or "may contain" every single allergen that I can think of! It was crazy! It seemed like the company that made the condiments was saying, "we are not responsible for anything in our products, so don't even think about trying them!"

When I see packages like that, it makes me feel very frustrated, because I am sure it probably does not contain or even has the likelihood of containing some of those allergens, but we live in a world so scared by lawsuits, that they feel they need to literally put every single allergen on their ingredient list to avoid any potential issues. Crazy!

In Scotland, one of the main products they sell is shortbread cookies. Of course, although there are only a few basic ingredients in them, like sugar and butter, they are "not suitable for nut allergy sufferers." Apparently I "suffer" from nut allergies.

Shortbread cookies

Besides the minor packaged ingredient warnings, I didn't come across any other difficulties or disappointments in Scotland. Back in Edinburgh, my friends left two days before me, so I found a quaint bed and breakfast to stay at. The people were friendly and helpful, and were happy to accommodate my allergies for breakfast in the morning. I took myself out to dinner and drinks, and had a lovely time exploring the city! I also found Ben & Jerry's ice cream that I could eat! It was my first ice cream in months, so that was the perfect way to end my evening!

After Scotland, I took a train to Leeds to see one of my best friends who is from there. Before I left, my friend, Gemma, had sent me an e-mail checking to see if there was anything in particular I wanted for food, and letting me know that she had cleared all allergens out of her apartment. I thought that it was so sweet of her to remember and think of that before my arrival! I'm lucky to have such caring friends!

We went out to eat with no problems, and had a wonderful time visiting. On the weekend we went to see another close mutual friend and his girlfriend who live in Manchester. They also had e-mailed before I was coming, asking the same questions and making sure I would be completely comfortable. How lucky am I to have these people in my life who are so aware, yet never make it such a massive deal?!

During the day, we went out to lunch with no problem! I had delicious raviolis at an up scale Italian restaurant. My friend, Alex, his girlfriend, Babs, Gemma, and I wandered around Manchester for the afternoon. Babs had a free hand massage from buying products over the holidays, and booked for the three girls to go get one. Of course all of the products ended up having sweet almond oil in them, so I sat and watched. They felt bad, but it was okay, although of course I wish I also could have participated!

Babs, Me, Gemma

Later that evening, after having a drink at an awesome, neighborhood pub near their amazingly beautiful apartment, we went back to have dinner. Babs insisted on making it all by herself, and did an excellent job making risotto! She was so sweet about my allergies, and I didn't once feel worried about eating there! It was a fabulous way to end an amazing holiday!

Babs with her awesome Risotto.

Trips like this make me realize a few things. One, is how much easier it is to communicate in my native language, and how at home I take that for granted when ordering out! I also realize how lucky I am to have friends who are so understanding and caring, and although we only see each other every few years, still remember about my allergies, and don't treat me any different because of them! Thank you, friends! :)

To me the hardest part...

"Abby, look at that dessert! You should try it. It looks amazing!" I often say to my roommate when we walk by a bakery or shop in an outdoor market. It is difficult not to! Everything looks delicious, and if I could try it I definitely would!

Abby trying sweets at a outdoor market.

The most difficult part of living abroad with food allergies, has been missing out on trying all the awesome looking foods and desserts! I definitely have a sweet tooth, so passing on such delectable treats is difficult! Even more than all of the beautiful desserts though, there is one type of sweet that I am always missing here! ICE CREAM! Here it is called gelato.

When we first moved to Italy in August, it was incredibly hot, so my friends would go at least once a day to get gelato. I was very jealous! When it gets warm again here, I would like to try to see if there are any fruit flavors I can try. There is a lot of cross contamination, which is why I have been so weary about trying it. The gelateria in my neighborhood has the fruit flavors on one side, and all the others, on the other side. My goal is to be able to explain to her in Italian about my allergies and ask what the ingredients are, if she can use a clean scoop, etc. I also have my card to back me up!

Abby and my other friend, Jess, with chocolate gelato on their face!

Now that I have been living here for five months, reading ingredients in Italian has been so much easier! I don't bring my dictionary with me to the store anymore. I know what most ingredients are. If I have a question I don't buy it, or if I think it is okay, I buy it, then double check with my dictionary when I get home. I finally at a point where I feel like Italy is home, and the grocery store is just a normal (and easy) part of my week. It is nice to finally be able to say that!

My dictionary and I in the first few months of living here.

Baking in Italy is one other difficulty that my roommate and I are faced with. Both of us enjoy baking, and whenever we want to bake, we run into a few of the same problems. There is a combination product of baking soda and baking powder, instead of both separately, that make whatever we bake taste exactly the same. There is also no vanilla extract, just these packages of two viles called Vanilla Aroma, which also make everything taste the same. It is really nothing like vanilla extract.

Baking an apple pie

Since our first few baking experiences, we have been home to the U.S., and brought back with us, the ingredients that we need (including chocolate chips that I can eat), so now we should be all set for the rest of the year!

I feel very lucky, that for the most part, I am not having many difficulties eating here. Of course, there will always be some hard days, like when I am craving ice cream, and can't have any. Besides that though, it is going well!

Oh The Stories They Tell...

One of my least favorite parts about having anaphylactic allergies, is listening to stories from people who don't have anaphylactic allergies, talk about people they once knew or stories they heard from other people, about someone dying from an allergic reaction. I am always confused why people tell me these stories. Does it bring them comfort?

No matter what you may have, no one ever wants to hear about stories of someone dying from the same thing they have. In my experience, it only makes me feel worse and more concerned. Of course I listen, but I don't like to. There is a consistent theme with almost every one of these stories: NO EPI-PEN!

Almost every time someone tells me a story about their friend or this person they knew that died from food allergies, I ask, "Did they have their epi-pen?" More often then not the answer is NO. They may not have had a reaction since they were little, or they didn't think they would be eating, and therefore didn't have their epi. As sad and as difficult as these stories are to hear, each time it reinforces to me how important it is to ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS NO MATTER WHAT have my epi-pens with me at all times!

Last weekend I was in Salzburg, Austria. I went with my roommate and another friend of ours. I packed enough food for the entire weekend, just in case I had difficulty finding food. In the car we were all talking, and our friend started telling this story of her friend who had died from food allergies. She said that her friend had gone out camping with a group of people, and hadn't realized that they used peanut oil in something they had made. According to my friend, since the girl hadn't had a reaction since she was four years old, and was always good at avoiding peanuts, she didn't have an epi-pen with her. She ate some of the food, had an anaphylactic reaction, was isolated in the middle of the woods, and had no epi-pen to help save her. This story made me sad. I hate hearing about stories like that. If only she had her epi-pen, she could have been okay.

I went out to dinner last night in the city where I live. I wanted to order a pizza. I gave the server my chef card. She thought that I would be all set, but in our broken Italian we asked her if she could bring it back to the kitchen. A few minutes later a man came over to us and asked if we spoke English. "Si," I said, of course using my basic Italian automatically, instead of just saying, "yes." He said that he was 99.9% sure that the flour should be fine in the pizza, but he wasn't 100% sure, so he wanted me to know that. He asked if I had pizza in the city before, which of course I had many times. He said that it was probably the same flour and fine, but he didn't want to guarantee me. THEN, he went into this story about how when he used to work at a restaurant in London, there was a man who had died from food allergies. Another fun story to hear while I am out to dinner, trying to find something else to order! I ended up having a salad.

I don't think that people think about what they are saying, and how it will make other people feel . Maybe it only seems obvious to me that I wouldn't want to hear about someone that died from food allergies, while I am trying to find something to order out to dinner??? Unfortunately, it seems that too often I am told stories like this.

These stories remind me of my first bee sting. I was six, almost seven years old, and I was going into first grade that coming fall. I was at a day camp where they had horseback riding, arts & crafts, and a lake to swim in. One afternoon we were leaving the lake and walking back up to go change into dry clothes, and I must have stepped near a hive. A bee stung me in the back of the foot. Since everyone knew I had food allergies, they took my first bee sting very seriously. I remember one of the counselors scooping me up and running me over to the infirmary.

I always had my Benedryl and Epi-pens with me, even at that age, so I was all prepared if I did have a problem. The nurse immediately gave me some Benedryl. I sat there in my wet bathing suit on a table, waiting to see if I got any further reaction. The nurse and my counselor were talking about to each other about this girl that had been there the summer before and had an anaphylactic reaction. I remember feeling very nervous as I listened to this. My throat felt dry, and it felt like I couldn't swallow. The nurse saw me reacting to my dry throat from her scary story, thought I was having anaphylaxis, panicked, and gave me three shots of epinephrine! To this day, I am almost 100 percent sure that I did not have an anaphylactic reaction. I was reacting to the story that she was talking about it and it made me panic! This entire situation was not handled well by the nurse. I remember how furious my mom was by the entire thing! There was no reason to administer so much epinephrine, then they drove me to a hospital that was a half hour away, instead of calling an ambulance. They told my mom the wrong location of the hospital. Ugh...what a mess! On top of that, after all of this I then had to get tested at the allergist with a whole group of other people for every type of bee that there is! I may have only been six years old, but I remember all of this!

It is so important as an adult that you are careful about what you say in front of your children. Even though they may be little, they can still hear you, and they can still get scared. When I was little, that is something that I never would have expressed out loud. I never would have said that the story scared me and I panicked. Children will probably not tell you, but they will remember that it scared them!

A Cause for Understanding

Tonight I was in the kitchen making dinner with my roommate when she said in the middle of our school focused conversation, "Are you sure you want to know? It will make you mad, and trust me because it made me really mad, so I would imagine it would make you even more mad!"

Of course I was curious about what this madness was about! She told me that a teacher that she teaches with, was planning to do an assembly on peanuts. Apparently this teacher had done an assembly last year on popcorn, so this year she wanted to do one on peanuts (we really aren't sure why these foods are assembly worthy, but that is not really the point, is it?) My roommate told this teacher that was not a good idea because people are allergic to peanuts. The teacher was extremely rude to her and yelled at her saying that they would not stop an assembly because one teacher in the school was allergic to peanuts. My roommate tried to explain to her, but she is a perfect example of someone who truly doesn't get it!

At a staff meeting a few weeks after my roommate told me, she brought it up right to me. She said, "Well, I was going to do the assembly on peanuts, but your allies here stuck up for you about your allergies." She then continued to add rude comments. I tried to explain the seriousness, but she would not listen and did not want to understand. She is one of the many people that make having life-threatening food allergies that much more difficult. Luckily though, there are people like my roommate that are there for me to back me up when I need it!

I May Be in My Twenties, But She is Still My Mom...

"Ugh, I am so full! My stomach hurts," I said, in the car yesterday afternoon on the way to the airport with my parents. My mom made an early dinner that was the size of a mini-Thanksgiving feast, so that I would eat before my trip back to Italy.

For Thanksgiving my mom had made a squash soup that was delicious. I had some of it before we left the house for the airport. When I announced my stomach pains in the car, my mom started to panic, thinking maybe there was something in the soup. I guaranteed her that it was not an allergic reaction, but the consumption of too much tasty food! My mom called my sister at home anyway, to have her double check an ingredient. Of course it was fine, but sometimes there are certainly some scary moments of second-guessing.

Since I don't live at home, my mom doesn't have to be as careful with ingredients as she would be if I did. Very rarely does she second-guess what she puts in something she makes me, but she is human, she is my mom, and it does happen.

I want to share this, so that you moms out there know that even as we allergic reactors get older, it is still natural to second-guess and worry about us and our allergies once in a while. My mom almost never seems worried or concerned about my allergies, but every now and then, something triggers concern. Even though I know my mom is always careful when I am around, I know that sometimes she forgets that I am in my twenties, always double check everything I put in my mouth, and therefore she shouldn't worry! Love you Mom!

People Support in Italia

My first night in Italy was overwhelming. Not only had I just met all of these people, but I was exhausted from traveling, and didn't even know where I was, as I followed a group of other teachers to a welcome dinner for us. On our way, we stopped and stood in this beautiful piazza as the sun was starting to set over the Adriatic. I was excited and happy about this new adventure in my life. It felt like the right place to be.

That night at dinner, is when I first introduced my allergies to the director of my school, along with some other school staff. I had mentioned to one of the teachers I spoke with before coming, but I didn't want to worry anybody, and at my age, it is certainly not a job prerequisite to let people know. I had my chef card in Italian. I took it out to order dinner. I was sitting near an Italian woman who works in the school office, and she looked at my card and helped me order. Pheww...! The meal went well. I did have a lot of attention brought upon me by my allergies, but just out of peoples' surprise by how many I had, and how careful I had to be. I am so used to this kind of attention at every new experience that I embark upon, so I already knew what to expect.

The pizza I had that night, I think is still the best pizza that I have had since living in Italy! I had no problems, and by the end of the night, most people there, had some idea of my allergies.

My first night in Italy with my most favorite pizza!

My roommate, co-teacher, school staff, and friends, have all been really fabulous with my food allergies! I feel so lucky with the amount of kindness, caring, and support, that people have given me here. Right from the beginning, I have had no difficulties with people not taking my food allergies seriously. The school secretary helped me speak to the kitchen staff about my allergies, to make sure I would be able to eat the lunch, and gave them a copy of my Chef card to put in the kitchen.

My co-teacher always makes sure to wash her hands if she eats anything with nuts. My roommate has her own peanut butter knife that she keeps in her kitchen cabinet, and is extremely careful not to use it with the sponges. She also is awesome about washing her hands if we are out somewhere and she eats something I can't have. Peanuts are often served with drinks at a cafe or bar, so that is often where I need to be most careful about people remembering. I am very lucky to have her though! She definitely understands and is amazing about it! My other friends from school are also very sweet about it. Whenever someone has a dinner party, they always ask about my allergies, and try to make sure I can eat what they are making. I have never been around people in a new situation who are so aware about my allergies, and care about making sure I can also eat. It is really extraordinary to feel that included!

Italian School Lunch

Everyday my school feeds every student and staff member lunch. No one packs their own lunch for school. At first I assumed I probably wouldn't be able to eat anything at school, and would have to pack my own lunch. This was not the case though! School lunch here is very different than in the U.S. They have lots of fresh food. There is salad, fruit, plain pasta, and cheese that are always available. They also make other things each day besides those foods, but I am always able to find at least those foods at school every day.

During our staff orientation week before school started, I went with one of the women who work in the office to talk to the chef and the other people that work in the kitchen. They only speak Italian, so I needed someone to help me communicate. I brought them a copy of my chef card for them to read. I found out that they used to use peanut oil, but stopped last year when one of the students was allergic. Now they only use Olive and Corn oil. They let me take a look at both bottles to make sure they were okay. They also kept my chef card in the kitchen. They were very nice about everything.

Since then, I always feel comfortable eating the basic foods that are always served. Sometimes they make other dishes with many more ingredients that look good, but I am not sure about them, so I don't eat them. Sometimes I double check and ask about a food they are serving, but the language barrier is definitely difficult, and they are so busy at lunch time. If I want to ask them about a food I need to do it before lunch. The kitchen staff is very nice and helpful though, so I feel lucky that it has worked out the way it has, and I am able to eat at school.

I definitely think that having so many allergies is pushing me to work on my Italian. It is hard to have such a language barrier here. No one in this area of Italy speaks English, so dealing with everyday things is tough, but having allergies to deal with on top of that, makes it an even greater challenge!

My First Italian Haircut

I am usually pretty hesitant about trying new places to get my hair cut, but I was having one of those days where I just couldn't wait any longer! I went to the office at my school and had them help me call and set up an appointment at a place they said was good. (I would have tried calling myself, but everyone here only speaks Italian, and my Italian is not good enough yet to make my own appointment!)

The next evening after school, I was on my way to the hair appointment. In preperation for this appointment I had a photo of how I wanted my hair, along with an entire dialogue in Italian to explain. I also packed my own shampoo and conditioner. I know how to say "I am allergic," but I was not sure if they would understand why I couldn't use their shampoo and conditioner. I figured it would be even more complicated to ask to read the ingredients, so the safest and easiest thing to do, was to just bring my own.

The street names here can be confusing, and since all I had was a hand drawn map from another teacher, I did a lot of wandering before finally finding the salon on a windy, cobblestone side road in the older, quainter part of the city. As I was asking two older women sitting outside, "Dove Winter?" I turned around and there it was! I walked into the salon and told the man at the counter my name. Mi chiama Allie.

As he brought me over to wash my hair, I started explaining in my broken Italian that I brought my own shampoo and conditioner. There was one other man working there, and between the two of them, they were able to figure it out! I was so relieved that they understood. I have had a difficult enough time explaining that in English in the U.S., never mind trying to do it in Italian.

The only other point where I had to remind him about my allergies, was when he want to put a product in my hair. He handed me the bottle to look at the ingredients, which were fine. I never usually put anything in my hair, but since the ingredients were okay, I didn't want to confuse him even more.

The experience was really quite hilarious, between my terrible Italian and his barely any English! Thankfully I had a picture to show, so he cut my hair just right! Phewww! Now at least I have a salon I know I can go to! It was quite an adventure though!

My Summer Trip to the land of Bears and Moose- VERMONT!

My boyfriend is from Vermont, so we planned a trip to go visit his family there. I am a city girl, so I was a bit hesitant of visiting Vermont, but I ended up loving it!

I had never stayed with his family before, so I was a nervous about how it would be in general, never mind with my allergies. Luckily, his parents are amazing, and were so wonderful with my allergies! They double checked all ingredients for our lunches and dinners together, while also making sure that there was plenty of food in the house that I wasn't allergic to, so that I could always find something to eat! They also understood the severity and being careful with cross contamination.

We had some fabulous meals all together, and there were no allergies issues the entire week! It was so nice to be able to feel relaxed, and be aware but not worried about what I ate! The only real concern that I had while I was there, was that the nearest hospital was a good 40 minute drive away. To feel more comfortable I brought plenty of Epi-pens and Benedryl, and stayed aware of what I ate.


My boyfriend and I at the Ben & Jerry's Factory

Since we were in Vermont, we HAD to go to the Ben & Jerry's Factory. I LOVE ice cream! Ben & Jerry's has some of my favorite flavors! We did the tour around the factory. At the end, they give you a complementary scoop of ice cream to sample, which has already been scooped and is ready to eat. They had another flavor option if for some reason you couldn't eat that one. Unfortunately, I couldn't eat either flavor! I went up and asked our guide if I could get a different flavor because I was allergic to both options. Instead, he gave me a coupon to go get a free cone after the tour. I thought that was a nice gesture, and worked out very well! I asked him also about cross-contamination, and how they keep their nut free ice creams separate, and he explained to me their entire process. It was interesting to learn about!

My week away in Vermont was a wonderful escape from the fast paced life I am used to, and a positive allergy-free trip! :)

Being the new kid with food allergies

The first time I was the "new kid," I was in third grade. It was a year of many firsts for me. My first time at public school, my first time at a new school since preschool, etc. Yet again, I was the only student in the entire school system with food allergies. Of course I stuck out. Not only did I have allergies, but I also did school choice, so my dad drove me a half an hour to school every morning, then my mom came to pick me up in the afternoon. For the most part, everyone else lived in the same town that the school was in.

It was also the first school I went to that served food in the cafeteria. Most students bought food. I was one of few students who actually brought their lunch to school from home. On field trips and other school trips, I had to be careful of all the peanut butter sandwiches. At that time it was really important that I was my own greatest advocate, since my parents weren't with me all day, and no one else had allergies. I always carried my epi-pen everywhere and wore my Medic Alert bracelet!

What ended up helping with being the "new kid" was forming new friendships and finding a great group of friends who were always there for me! There is a group of five of us girls from elementary school, who are still good friends, even after so many years. These girls were always watching for me and there when it came to my allergies! I was lucky to find such great friends! I think finding lasting friendships are so important to have, especially for this reason! Helping your children to find friends who will be there for them and help them is a great way to feel a lot better about being the "new kid" with allergies!

My Weekend Away Recap

My home away from home is an island off the coast.  I decided to go there and visit some friends for the weekend.  Before I left, there are a few questions that I asked myself:

-Does my friend's house where I am staying have any pets? No. 

-Do I have extra Epi pens, Benadryl, inhalers, and environmental allergy meds? Yes.

-Do I have a copy of my chef card with me (it's always in my purse)? Yes. 

-Is there any food I want to bring with me in case I can't eat? Not on this trip. 

Since I know this destination well, I felt confident that I would find food that I could eat there. That is why I decided that it wasn't necessary to bring food with me.  I was actually looking forward to getting food from all my favorite places on the island.  

When I finally arrived off the ferry, it was already close to lunch time.  My friend picked me up and we drove out to get our favorite sandwiches. There was already a line out the door when we arrived.  My friend Jamie said, "We should have called in our order." I knew for me, it was much easier to order there, and watch how they made my sandwich, instead of having to explain my allergies over the phone.

"Can I please have a turkey sandwich on Portuguese bread (they are known for their bread, hence the reason I cart back a grocery bag full of it for my family each time I go there)? Can you also please make sure the person making it knows I have a peanut and fish allergy, so to make sure to change their gloves.  Also please have them make sure it is put directly onto a plate and not onto the counter, and cut with a clean knife.  Thank you!"  The girl taking my order was great.  She wrote my allergies down and went over and talked to the girls that were making the sandwiches.  They all changed their gloves when it was time to make my sandwich. I was glad they were being so careful.  

It can be difficult sometimes because I feel bad that I have to make such a fuss of asking them to do all these extra things so that I can eat, but if I don't, then I can't eat.  With more and more education in the food and restaurant business, people are becoming much more helpful and understanding about food allergies. I didn't have one problem all weekend with people not being nice about my allergies. It is also an island that is used to tourists and dealing with high maintenance individuals, but I still think that education is starting to get around little by little!

My next food experience was later that afternoon.  Ice cream!!  There is this fabulous ice cream store that is a "must go to at least twice in two days" type of place because it is so good!  When I ordered my ice cream I said, "I have a nut allergy, can you please use a clean scoop and clean the area of the ice cream?"  The guy waiting on me did even better than that. He took the Ben & Jerry's approach, and not only got a sterilized scoop, but also went in back to new ice cream to make mine.  Perfect!  

That night, a group of us went out to dinner. I ordered a grilled chicken sandwich. I gave the waitress my chef card (which always seems to be both a surprise and relief to servers, since they don't have to write all my allergies down, and can easily show the chef, but also because many times they haven't seen one before). She went back to the kitchen and told me I was all set. I made sure to specify that I could not have fries or anything else that came on the side besides the lettuce and tomato. When the food came out, mine had fries on the side.  I explained again that potato was one of the allergies I had, and that they couldn't just take the fries off the side. I needed a new sandwich.  The waitress went back to the kitchen.  She came back out a few minutes later apologetic and saying that the chef also apologized and that they were making a new one now.  No worries!  As long as they understood I needed a new one it was okay, which they did.  When I eventually got my food, it was great, and certainly worth waiting for them to make me a new one.  

The next morning we went out for brunch.  I ordered scrambled eggs and toast. I told the waitress my allergies, and had her double check that they just used olive oil and butter. I had been there many times, but no matter what, I always check.  An easy meal with no problems!  

I went back that afternoon for my second ice cream of the weekend! This time I had a high school aged boy, who seemed to be new at the job.  When I ordered and told him about my allergies, he took a spoon and tried to clean off the top layer of ice cream.  Luckily, the other guy that was working took over from there, as I started explaining what had been done yesterday.  He went in back and got my ice cream for me.  Phew...

All in all, it was a fabulous, allergy-free weekend away!  

The Baseball Game

"Crunch, crunch, crunch," I heard as I walked into the stadium towards our seats. Peanut shells were everywhere!  On the seats.  On the ground. In the hands of the other fans sitting around me. All I saw were peanuts!  I didn't notice the excitement of the game or any of the players on the field.  I sat there in a state of paralysis, afraid if I moved in any direction I would be in contact with a peanut.   

The first major league baseball game that I remember going to, was my freshman year of college.  It was a floor bonding activity, so I didn't want to miss it.  My mom had warned me on the phone the night before that there would be a lot of peanuts.  I hadn't realized how serious she was though.  I had been to sports games before, and seen a few minor league games when I was a camper during the summer in Maine.  I never remembered being uncomfortable, or even concerned in any way about peanuts.

The experience was eye-opening to me though!  I couldn't relax or enjoy myself.  I couldn't touch anything.  If I did touch anything then I used a wipe.  I couldn't touch my face all night!  I didn't eat anything, drink anything, or enjoy the experience in any way.  It feels debilitating to go somewhere surrounded by something I am anaphylactic to.  It is nearly impossible to enjoy myself when I am thinking the entire time about not having a reaction.  I was also with people I had just met a few days earlier and barely knew.  My roommate and a few others on my floor were aware of my allergies, but I am sure they didn't understand the severity, or why I sat there on the edge of my seat counting the innings until the game would be over.  

Now they have baseball games on certain dates, that have either peanut free sections or peanut free games. Go to: http://foodallergies.about.com/od/nutallergies/a/peanutbaseball.htm 

There is a listing and links to find baseball games that are peanut free.  I think this is a great option, instead of risking the other games, while also feeling uneasy the entire time!  I would imagine that these games are a lot more enjoyable to us allergic reactors!

Last night Mr. Comprehender asked me to go to a baseball game with him this week.  He didn't understand my immediate reaction of "No, I can't.  Sorry.  You should definitely find a friend to go with you though."  I felt bad because of his excitement at being given free tickets and his enthusiasm to take me, but there was no way I could legitimize putting myself in a position I knew I felt uncomfortable in.  "I won't be fun," I told him.  "But I don't understand why you don't want to go.  You don't have any other plans.  It would be fun," he countered.  "I don't think you understand," I said.  "There are peanuts everywhere!  I know I don't usually let my allergies stop me, but I have done this before, and I know how it is.  I know I will sit there uncomfortably the entire time.  You would be much better off finding a friend to enjoy it with." Mr. Comprehender was still dubious of my certainty.  Maybe he'll understand tomorrow night...

Peer Pressure

I met some friends out for dinner last week.  It was one of their birthdays.  I already had plans to eat with my parents, so I met them afterwards.  The girls had ordered sushi to share.  I am allergic to fish, and clearly couldn't eat the sushi.  I knew the girls from high school, but was only friends with them through a few classes and organizations we were both in at that time.  I ran into them and re-connected the week before at another friend's house.  None of them remembered I had food allergies, or maybe didn't even know about my allergies in the first place.  

When I got there, they tried to offer me some sushi.  I politely declined, and ordered something to drink.  I always have great excuses in my mind, in case I don't feel like I need to share my allergies with people I don't know very well.  They asked me a few more times, pressuring me to try some.  I said I was full from dinner (which was true), and they finally stopped asking.  In this situation, I could have explained my allergies, but I didn't need to, and decided to not make it a big deal.  Either way, I did experience peer pressure.  The peer pressure to try some food I couldn't eat.  

Peer pressure is something I remember happening a lot when I was growing up. Of course it didn't always involve food, but many times it did.  Even my close friend could occasionally have a momentary lapse of forgetfulness and offer me foods I couldn't eat.  It is the pressure though, and the need for acceptance that is the problem.  I luckily never succumbed to the peer pressure.  I never tried food out of courtesy or politeness.  If it came down to something like that, I would then explain my allergies.  I am not the type to make a big deal about something, if it isn't necessary. I think I am pretty good at knowing when it is and when it isn't important to share my allergies. Over the years I learned who needed to know, and who didn't. 

Broadcasting my allergies to everyone isn't necessary.  It is however necessary to inform the important people (teachers, coaches, nurses, parents, close friends, etc.).  Those are the people who will help if something happens, and who should know the precautions that I take.  

The Steps I Take...

Before I go out to any party or social gathering, there are always a few steps that I make sure to take before leaving.  Last night I was at friend's apartment before going out.  I took some video to show how I prepare.                                                                                

 

Step 1: Always eat ahead

Step 2: Bring a safe snack

When I bring a snack to a friend's house, I always make sure to set some aside to keep it cross-contamination free.  Then I put the platter out to share.  That way, if someone eats something I am allergic to, then touches the brownies I brought, I don't have to worry that I can't eat them. I know I have some set aside just for me.  

The Media Portrayal of Allergies

In the past few years, I have noticed a new character trait in the movies and on TV: food allergies. Although this seems to be a fad, the problem with this, is that more often than not, it is misrepresented. That is a huge concern, because people might think that food allergies are something to joke about, and don't understand the actual severity!

I know the list goes on, but the ones that I could think of off the top of my head were: Movies- Hitch, The Da Vinci Code, and Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. TV- Freaks and Geeks, a soap opera episode (not sure which one), and Michael on The Office saying, "If I was allergic to dairy, I think I would kill myself." Out of these examples, I believe only one of these was handled responsibly. The media really needs to do their research!

<3 Valentine's Day Dinner <3

Last night for Valentine's Day, I went out to dinner at a wonderful upscale Italian restaurant right in the city.  My boyfriend called ahead about the reservations, and asked if they would be able to accommodate my allergies.  They said they would be able to!  Fabulous!  

When we arrived at the restaurant everyone was incredibly helpful and friendly.  The server we had was wonderful about my allergies.  He made me feel like I barely had to say anything.  He seemed to already understood the severity.  I gave him my Chef card.  He came back and said that everything was all set.  I didn't feel nervous or uncomfortable at all.  Our reservation was pretty early (that was all there was left), but I think it worked to our advantage because they weren't stressed with orders in the kitchen.  The food was flavorful and delicious.  We were very satisfied by the entire experience!

After our lovely Italian meal, feeling extremely full, we met some friends out for drinks at a classy jazz club some blocks away from the restaurant.  After walking in my high heels for what felt like about five miles, we finally arrived in time to take the seats our friends had saved for us at the bar.  

Even after a few years of practice, I still find going out for drinks to be a bit daunting.  I don't usually trust any mixed drinks.  There are too many different mixes and liquors.  I haven't tried enough different alcohols to make sure I am not allergic to some component of a mixed drink. I also worry about cross-contamination.  I often choose either beer or wine instead.  I still worry sometimes if I don't know the beer, and tend to stick with the ones I know.  I am concerned less about wine, but do realize that some wines are now being labeled with fish and egg warnings on them.  The first time I actually saw these warning was when I was living in Australia.  Last night, I chose to get an individual sized bottle of champagne that I had drank there before.

It was nice to have a fancy night out with no allergy worries!  This is not a frequent occurrence, so when it does happen, it really makes the whole night that much more relaxed and enjoyable! 

Jokes That Aren't That Funny!

"Hey, what did you put in the sauce?" I asked my friend, as we sat down the other night to eat dinner that he had just prepared.  "I put tomato, onion, garlic, olive oil, etc... and fish oil of course," he said jokingly.  There it was...the allergy joke!  

Throughout my life, I have encountered many variations of these jokes.  Very often when people feel uncomfortable about something, it is a natural part of human nature to make a joke about it.  There have been so many in fact, that I have my favorites (hint the sarcasm)-- the ones that stick out in my brain because I have heard them over and over, from many different people, over many years!  I'll do a countdown of my top three favorites...

Joke #3: "What do you eat?"

I know the list sounds long when someone asks me what I'm allergic to, but in reality, the food I can eat is a much longer list!  I suppose when you rattle off multiple allergies, it can sound like there is nothing else really left to eat.  It does seem though, that even when I start to list the foods I can eat, people are so consumed with all that I can't, that they don't even really hear me.  After my list of allergies, it is also quite often followed by a response like, "Oh, I love those foods!  I can't imagine living with out them.  I think if I had allergies I would just eat them anyway."  Right there, is a clear indication that the person does not understand that eating them is definitely not an option!  Yes, of course I would eat it too, if it couldn't potentially send me to the ER!  People who can eat anything though, have a hard time grasping that food can truly do that to someone.  

To me, the following scenario seems more strange.  I was watching a commercial on TV for a grocery store in my area.  In the commercial a mother is walking through the store, putting food in her cart, and not even looking at what is in it.  After that commercial I was thinking, "Wow, most people can just walk into a grocery store and put anything they want in their cart, without spending any time looking at what it contains!  That's all they have to do!"  It does still astound me though that people can do that.  I sometimes forget that is actually the norm, and that most people don't stand around reading everything before buying it.  I don't mind grocery shopping, but it can certainly feel like a much longer errand, when I am reading everything before I put it in the cart.  The only other people who might be looking at that box are people who are on a diet, besides that, everyone is free to pick whatever they want!  It's amazing!  Truly...it is.  People are lucky.

Joke #2: "Well, at least you will always stay skinny!"

I love this one.  Really?  Do people really think that because I am limited on a variety of foods I can't eat, that that is what prevents me from gaining weight?  I don't think so!  I've always been extremely athletic, and a healthy eater.  That is what gives me a healthy body size.  It has nothing to do with not being able to eat certain foods!  There are plenty of (although growing fewer) unhealthy foods I'm sure I could find to eat if I wanted to.  Of course in a society that places such a high value on being skinny (according to most television, magazines and other media), this would become a joke!  

Joke #1: Survival of the fittest- "Wow, it is amazing you can still survive, considering you are certainly not the fittest or best equipped for surviving with all those allergies!"- Or some other fabulous variation...

Last, and certainly not least, this joke has always really bothered me!  Yes, I suppose a few hundred years ago, when there was less food, and even less resources, people with allergies probably would not have survived.  But, at that time, if people did have allergies, they probably didn't even know they had them.  Allergies have grown into an even bigger issue (most likely partially due to the environment), which back then was not a concern.  

How do you or your child avoid these jokes?  

At this point I do seem to have a formula answer to each of these.  Jokes are unavoidable though, but the way I respond to them is in my control.  I can either get upset about it, answer with some witty reply, or brush it off with all the other jokes from the past.  I usually choose to either answer with wit, or brush it off with one of my standard answers.  If someone really doesn't know about allergies, I also sometimes actually try to explain the severity, but only if I truly have their attention and won't scare them off.  It depends on the circumstance, but many of these encounters are first or second interactions with someone.  It's better not to scare them off right away, and build on their allergy knowledge as you go along!  

Even Mr. Comprehender Doesn't Always Comprehend!

Even in my twenties, parties can still be a challenge!  Knowing this, I usually try to bring food I can eat, like brownies (nut free of course)!  I also eat ahead of time, because I very rarely eat other food at parties.  Even if my friends can tell me what is in a dish, I usually don't trust eating it because of cross contamination.

Over the weekend, I went out to a party with the guy I am dating.  Plenty of food was at the party, including a bowl of peanuts sitting on one of the coffee tables.  There were platters of veggies and dip and chips and salsa, which are okay for me to eat usually, along with many other dishes.  Once I saw the peanuts though, I knew it was best to just wait to eat at home later that night.  I was out in the city all afternoon, so I wasn't prepared like I usually am.  I ate a few of my brownies before people started touching them, but I was hungry for something more healthy and substantial!  Sometimes I will put food aside ahead of time if I know I can eat something, or make sure I am the first one to serve myself, depending on the situation.  When we arrived at the party, there were already people there eating, so it wasn't worth taking any risks.  

The guy I am dating was eating all night at the party.  He didn't eat any peanuts, or anything that I was definitely allergic to, but he did eat food we weren't sure about the ingredients.  When he brought me home later in the evening, I was starving and wanted to make some Annie's mac and cheese.  I went to go change because it was snowing pretty hard outside, and the bottom of my pants were wet from dragging in the snow.  When I came back downstairs, the Annie's were ready, but I saw him take the spoon and have a bite, then put it back in the pot.  He listed off what he had to eat and drink since the party, and I decided it was okay, but it still made me feel a little frustrated and nervous to eat the Annie's.  I know there wasn't a high likelihood that I would have a reaction from him sharing the spoon, but I still was surprised he had done that.  We hadn't been to his apartment, so he hadn't brushed his teeth or chewed any gum.  He did eat and drink "safe" foods after the party, so I was probably over reacting a bit.  It is hard sometimes though, especially if it is late at night, in a snow storm, where you know if there is an emergency, it is not the easiest time to get help.  

For someone who I thought truly was a "comprehender," I was surprised by this action.  It shows that you always have to be careful, ask questions, and trust your gut feeling about the situation.  Even people who "get it," can sometimes get a little mixed up, or not go about something the same way you would.  It reminds me of something that happened when I was little.  

My family spent many weekends when I was little, driving to visit our close friends a few hours away.  These friends were always really amazing about my allergies.  They would try to make sure there was always safe food for me, and knew how to check the ingredients to make sure I could eat it.  One weekend when we went to visit, Leslie, my best friend's mom, was so excited she had found potato chips that she thought I could eat because they didn't have peanut oil.  At this time almost every chip had peanut oil!  In being focused on the smaller picture of no peanut oil though, she missed the bigger picture that I can't eat potato!  

This story emphasizes the importance of empowering your kids to read labels and trust themselves.  Even people who do "get it," can slip up from time to time, and the best way I was taught to prevent this from happening, is to always double, even triple check ingredients, ask questions, and teach your kids to read and understand their allergies.

One mom who I spoke with, interviewed, and was extremely helpful when I was doing my independent study in college, wrote me an e-mail yesterday.  In the e-mail, she said that she always remembers my advice of empowering your kids to handle it themselves from an early age.  I am so glad this advise helped her, and I hope it helps others.  My parents showed me how to be responsible for my allergies at a very young age.  They would bring me to the grocery store and read ingredients with me.  They would make me responsible for always bringing and remembering my Epi and knowing what to do if I was having a reaction.  I wore a Medic Alert bracelet since I can ever remember.      I was looking through old pictures from when I was little, and my bracelet is on in every one (just like in this photo of my dad and I at a wedding)!  It is just one other way of keeping myself safe, and something I continue to wear today.  There are so many ways to empower your children, and by teaching them responsibility and ways to keep themselves safe, you will be truly helping them out, especially in the long run!  I definitely believe that I am a more responsible person because of my allergies.  This is something positive I possess from this experience, along with some other crucial benefits, which is a topic for another blog!